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Arby 'n' the Chief
Arby 'n' the Chief is the sequel series to DigitalPh33r's smash hit, Master Chief Sucks at Halo. =Plot= Season One Episode 1: "Pilot" Master Chief has a dream that he saves the day and wins a Halo 3 online match, and is awarded by Bungie staff. He gets a rude awakening when the buzzing phone rings about a package for Jon. Master Chief states that he is Jon and receives the package from the delivery person (Played by Jon Graham). Master Chief ponders what is the contents and soon he cowers before the contained Arbiter, who was bought in an E-bay auction. Whilst playing Halo 3 Matchmaking, the Arbiter breaks out of his packaging and overpowers a kitchen knife wielding Chief. The Arbiter demonstrates superior intelligence and greater gaming skills than that of the Chief. The two have multiple arguments, particularly on subjects such as the Arbiter's opinion on the Heroic Map Pack. Chief takes everything the Arbiter says and turns it into a sexual joke, before hitting him over the head with Jon's saucepan. Episode 2: "Recon" Cheif recalls the argument in episode one, after noticing that Bungie has posted a sarcastic link to the video on their home page. Cheif fails to spot this sarcasm, and the Arbiter tells him he should stop being an idiot and read a book (or something). Chief has a secret plan to get the Recon Armour Permutation from Bungie Studios. He agrees to show the Arbiter, who is impressed by it's complexity, but the requirements "are somewhat, out of reach". As the Chief cries, Arbiter comforts him, and tells him to write an email to Bungie. However, all he writes is 'can i has recon plz?', so the Arbiter agrees to write it instead. Episode 3: "Attitude" Amazingly, Chief recieved the Recon Armour Permutation. But his attitude has turned rotten and he brags on about it to players across Halo 3 Matchmaking for hours at a time. The Arbiter tries to tell him that no-one cares, but he gets un-necessarily angry at the Arbiter, throwing the controller at him. He finds the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare game, takes it into the bathroom, snaps the game disc and tries to flush all the contents down the toilet, with obvious failure. He tries to fool the Arbiter with a poorly drawn case containing a cookie with a hole in the middle. The Arbiter has to buy a replacement copy, and forces the Chief to unclog the toilet as consequence of his aggression. Episode 4: "Melee" The Arbiter is building levels in the Forge mode of Halo 3, whilst Chief pretends to be drunk on bottled water. The Arbiter challenges him to a one-on-one game. The two fight, but due to the melee system, the Arbiter gets a kill that should have been the Chief's. Cheif almost sends a very angry email to Bungie, blaming them for making a poor melee system, which causes his rank to go down. The Arbiter convinces him not to, and tells him to chill out. He then asks Chief why he even cares about his rank, since he is so bad at the game anyway. Episode 5: "Martyrdom" After Chief gets angry at the lag on Halo 3 matchmaking (because he is trying to download 714GB of porn), he tries playing Devil May Cry 4. This shocks the Arbiter, since Chief only plays Halo 3, and he hates any other game. Chief soon gets frustrated at this game as well (because he can't defeat a boss), so the Arbiter decides he wants to play Call of Duty 4. He cancels Chief's download, which makes him mad. To cheer Chief up, Arbiter offers him a go on Call of Duty 4. Chief tries making his own class, but wants to know what 'Martyrdom' is. The Arbiter explains that it is a poor game mechanic which he does not like, because everyone uses it. Chief activates it anyway. He starts the match, and unsurprisingly, is incredibly bad . The Chief fired at random and tried grenade spamming. Although another player killed him the screen clearly indicated that the chief killed about 6 people with Martyrdom. Arbiter gives him the instructions to read, but Chief ignores it, and restarts his download, so the Arbiter throws a box at him. Episode 6: "Brawl" Chief is trying to reach an easter egg in Halo 3, with some help from the Arbiter. The Arbiter quits, though, after Chief shoots him with a rocket. Chief gives the Arbiter a hug to say sorry. The Arbiter is proud of his affection, but really he has used it as an opportunity to stick a sign reading 'IM STUPED' on the Arbiter's back. The Arbiter begins to play Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and the Chief wants to join in. He picks Samus, since 'he' has guns and a suit like the Master Chief, but is shocked to learn the Samus is, in fact, female. The Arbiter starts a one-on-one match, but Chief, being as bad as he is, quits after losing one round. Instead, he goes and watches his "sexay pr0nz" on the Internet. Season Two Episode 7: "Girls" Chief begins to harass female players on Halo 3 matchmaking, one in particular who wears pink armor. His methods of "pickign up hawt chixxx" disgusts the Arbiter, who decides that he'll teach him how to appropriately behave around girls. After harsh teaching from Arbiter, Chief confronts the female player he has been chasing, and apologizes for his disgraceful behaviour towards her, and lets her go. Just after, Chief and the Arbiter discover Jon had just bought a Cortana Action Figure, who Chief falls in love with, but when talking to her, he shows a complete change back to his original attitude. Episode 8: "Legendary" The Arbiter has downloaded the Legendary Map Pack, which he enjoys much more than the Heroic Map Pack. He comments on how good the visual filters are, but when Chief tells him to turn them all on, he says that that would be a poor idea for gameplay, and repeatedly asks Chief who would do such a thing (implying that Chief is that idiot). Ten minutes later, Chief has created his own map, with all the visual filters on. He invites his friends to try out his map. He also shows the map to the Arbiter, but demonstrates a lack of creativity because he has placed every certain type object in one spot, and has made weapons, vehicles and equipment inaccessible. He believes that a map's "c00ln3ss" is measured by the amount of Forge budget money you spend on it, and therefore has spent the entire Forge budget on the map. Both Arbiter and Cortana agreed that Chief's map is "The worst piece of shit map I've ever seen in my life", with a very offensive reply from Chief. Cortana hits Chief with Jon's saucepan, and the Arbiter gives her a high five. Episode 9: "Newcomers" While Arbiter is playing Halo 3 Matchmaking with some extremely serious players, Chief is bashing the new Grand Theft Auto 4 on the internet, before noticing another package arrives for Jon. He wonders what's inside it, but no-one can answer his question. Later in the night, he hears crashing. He discovers the contents of the package have broke out. He reaches for a kitchen knife, and discovers a Halo 3 Master Chief and Brute Chieftain Figures. He runs away, screaming, but all they want is food (and beer). Later, the Arbiter gets along well with the newer Master Chief, named Todd, after Todd McFarlene. Todd also introduces Travis, the Brute Chieftain, who gets on well Chief, despite Chief's complete lack of intelligence. Cortana meets Todd, who seem to be attracted to each other, which Chief notices. This makes him "angry face >:O". Episode 10: "Cortana" Whilst the Arbiter and Travis play on Grand Theft Auto IV, Chief makes desperate plans to break up Todd and Cortana. His first plan involves phoning the police on Jon's mobile. He tells them that a man five inches tall (Todd) has stolen his girlfriend. The police don't beleive him, however, and they hang up. Chief's second breakup attempt involves showing Cortana fake evidence of Todd cheating on her. He shows her a very poorly drawn picture of Cortana and Todd. Sarcastically, Cortana comments on the authenticity of the picture, but says she can't be sure, since Todd and Chief are both Master Chief figures. Chief comes up with one last idea: "KIL T0D". Episode 11: "Conflict (Part 1 of 2)" After failing 2 of his plots to break up Todd and Cortana, he goes to Arbiter, who is playing Grand Theft Auto IV with friends (and an annoying gangsta wannabe kid with the gamertag "xxxSmok3w33d4lyph420xxx" and real name of Jeremy who eventually gets booted off the 360 by his dad), and tells him about how Travis (who had made a fool out of him an hour earlier) and how Todd is "pissign meh off 2". He goes very close to Arbiter and says he is "gon t33ch BOTH thoes asshoelz a les0n tehy wil NEVAR FORG3T". That night, Chief gets a kitchen knife and approaches Todd and Travis. Todd wakes up to see Chief oddly staring at him. Travis wakes up, still drunk, totally confused. Todd questions the time and Chief simply replies, "it r tiem 2 dai, tod. tiem 2 dai." (It are time to die Todd. Time to die). Chief then charges at Todd swinging the knife. Episode 12: "Conflict (Part 2 of 2)" Picking up right where part one left off, Master Chief closes in on Todd, ready to kill him. Suddenly, Travis tackles and pins Chief to the floor and begins punching him. Chief fakes a surrender and kicks Travis in the crotch to escape and then goes after Todd again. The two seem evenly matched, until Chief whacks Todd across the kitchen with a frying pan. Just when Chief is about to kill Todd, the Arbiter arrives and tackles him. Cortana shows up as well and Todd informs her of what Chief just attempted to do. During this whole time, Travis is still lying on the ground writhing in pain from being kicked in the crotch by Chief. Arbiter and Cortana then drag Chief away for a talk. Arbiter pins Chief to the wall and demands that he apologize to Todd and Travis for what he did. When he refuses, Cortana kicks him in the crotch and then repeatedly kicks him until he gives in and agrees to apologize. They take him to Todd and Travis, but Chief doesn't apologize, and instead calls them gay, which gets him dragged away again. The next morning, Arbiter is playing Halo 3 online with an annoying player, until Chief shows up and takes the controller from him. After the two finish a short argument about the Halo 3 Player Model Flaming Helmet (Which is an exclusive armor feature for Bungie employees only. Recon is specially awarded, but the Flaming Helmet is not), Cortana arrives and reveals that Todd and Travis have mysteriously disappeared. The first person she blames is obviously Chief, but he denies having anything to do with it. After exchanging insults with each other, Cortana warns Chief that if he did have something to do with Todd and Travis' disappearance, he would be "VERY, VERY SORRY." When Cortana leaves, Arbiter calmly and directly asks Chief where they are. Chief still claims that it wasn't his fault, so the Arbiter ends the episode asking him: "Well, if not you...then who?" DigitalPh33r held a poll in which viewers could vote who they thought were responsible for their disappearence. But it could be more safely assumed that Todd and Travis have possibly fled the apartment after Chief attempted to murder them, but that would leave the question why Todd never said goodbye (or by leaving a message) to Cortana. Season Three Episode 13: "Cold" This episode was announced on DigitalPh33r's homepage. Due to DigitalPh33r's personal time, a release date can only be assumed to be nearer the end of July. Episode 14: "Warped" Originally the name of Episode 13, it was changed by DigitalPh33r. Arby 'n' the Chief: The Movie On May 25th, 2008, Arby 'n' the Chief: The Movie, premiered at the machinima event CanWest 08 (To which the Movie was created for) and was published on YouTube the same day. It seems to take place in between the plot line of Episode 10 and 11, and features all of the characters of the series, and it's first time any character has ventured out of Jon's apartment. Characters Master Chief Voiced by Microsoft Sam The main character from Master Chief Sucks at Halo. He is nearly always referred to as "Chief". He is generally shown as being incredibly dumb and talks in leet (a form of internet slang). Chief took on minor changes from his last appearance in Master Chief Sucks at Halo. He began to speak more extensively in L337speak (and the subtitles followed along with this change), and his genuine intelligence was proven to be incredibly poor. But he still cannot play Halo, and acts like (what many internet users and gamers describe as) a complete n00b. He thinks that he is a highly skilled Halo 3 player and is very clever (this is proven when he says to the Arbiter "cuz UR brain r liek this {Cause your brain are like this}" and made a small hand gesture, "adn mai brein r liek this {And my brain are like this}" and made a huge arm gesture), even though it is always proven to be far from the truth. However, The Chief can be often be very creative when he puts his mind to something, and seems to have a certain degree of intelligence, which have been noted at some moments such as the times when he created plans to achieve his goals, such as obtaining the "Recon Armor" (which The Arbiter qualified as a good and very complex plan, although the things he required where out of reach) or the time he tried to break up Todd and Cortana. He loves playing Halo 3 Multiplayer more than anything, and hates almost, if not precisely every other video game or console, particularly if they compete with Halo's popularity. He always is convinced that if Arbiter shares his own opinion on Halo content he is displeased with or plays other games, that Arbiter hates Halo content, Halo, and Bungie Studios. Furthermore, The Chief also seems to be a Microsoft "fanboy". He is often seen browsing the web through Internet Explorer, to the extent that he once deleted a shortcut of Mozilla Firefox, another web browsing program, before surfing the internet through Internet Explorer. (However, it being only a shortcut, it may be argued that while he did not fully delete the program, it may be because he was unaware that it was only a shortcut, thus proving his low intelligence.) He is also seen once bashing the Nintendo Wii, unlike The Arbiter who likes all sort of games. He has a preference to always use "Mom Jokes/Comebacks" or "Male Genital Jokes" as his (only) form of retort, (apart from "no u"). He is described by Cortana as "A sexist, mentally defective homophobe who's daily activities consist of looking at lolcats.com and watching porn", which is extremely accurate as he has displayed offensive attitude towards her, calls everyone but her (mostly Arbiter) a faggot, has almost a complete lack of common sense and intelligence, and his favorite things to do (besides playing Halo) are to browse lolcats.com, look at pornography, and to bash other popular games like Grand Theft Auto 4, mostly for no real reason other than they are popular. The Arbiter Voiced by Microsoft Mike The Arbiter is the complete opposite of the Chief. He is intelligent, well spoken, and honest. And unlike Chief, he demonstrates great gaming skills. Arbiter basically shares the personality and other qualities of DigitalPh33r himself. He and Chief have somewhat of a love and hate friendship, but the two are nearly always in arguments, or Arbiter is victimised by Chief's irrational behavior. Very much unlike the Chief, he demonstrates great gaming skills, and is a lot more appealed by other popular video games besides Halo 3 such as Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, Devil May Cry 4, Super Smash Bros. Brawl (on the Nintendo Wii), and Grand Theft Auto 4. Arbiter has tried to introduce Chief to the games he plays, like in Episode 5, he let Chief try out Call of Duty 4 after Chief was getting bad performance on Halo 3 (due to the fact he had been downloading 714GB of pornography), but he quit very shortly after starting. Chief has a very common preference to call Arbiter a faggot, particularly when Arbiter played Jon's Nintendo Wii, since he thinks (like many people who inspired the Chief's creation) it's for kids, wusses, or homosexuals. HaloBabies interviewed DigitalPh33r (Jon Graham) and when asked what inspired the characters he replied; "Master Chief is the epitome of every illiterate, non-nonsensical idiot I've come across in the online world, and the Arbiter is basically a representation of me." Cortana Voiced by Microsoft Mary Cortana arrived in episode 7. Until after the movie, she has not had as much screentime as The Chief and The Arbiter. She seems to be more of the Female version of the Arbiter except for the fact she has more of a Feminine personality, and a little more violent. She has never had good relations with the Chief. Despite Chief's love for her, their arguments get more and more hate filled and violent as time goes on. She fell in love with Todd after she first met him, which really angered Chief. Todd Voiced by Jon Graham/DigitalPh33r Todd is a Master Chief Figure from the Halo 3 McFarlane Action Figure Series. He and his friend Travis's voices aren't used by a text to speech tool like the other three characters, as they are of the Halo 3 McFarlane series (which Todd is named after), that have new and improved voice boxes. Upon his arrival, he got along with the Arbiter very well, and fell in love with Cortana at first sight, as she did with him. He is very much like the Arbiter, but prefers to read (mostly with Cortana), and doesn't seem to use foul language at all (only mildly cursing when fighting for his life when Chief tried to kill him). Chief thinks of him as a "gigantec pusy", which, surprisingly, is true, such as in the Movie, when Chief pulled a not-too-scary prank, Todd ran away, screaming effeminately at the top of his lungs. Travis Voiced by Jon Graham/DigitalPh33r Travis is a Brute Chieftain Figure from the Halo 3 McFarlene Action Figure Series. Along with Todd, Travis arrived in Episode 9. He and his friend Todd's voices aren't done by text to speech tools like the other three characters, due to their new and improved voice boxes. Travis got along well with Chief when they first met. During the movie, they didn't get along. Infact, Travis hated Chief as much as Cortana and Todd did. On Episode 11, Travis played an extremely cruel joke on Chief which ended up with him getting smacked into a wall mirror by Cortana and humiliated him, filling Chief with murderous rage as he watched Travis laugh hystericly. Travis is not as much like the Chief as previously thought by fans. Travis is highly aggressive, but unlike the Chief, he has normal conversations with Todd, Cortana & Arbiter without throwing insults, "Penis Jokes", or "Mom Jokes" at them, like Chief mostly does. Travis loves to play Xbox 360 games, particularly Halo 3, but doesn't perform as badly as Chief. However, when he does make mistakes, fail or the game's difficulty or other players get to him, he gets easily angered and curses at the television or down the Xbox Live Headset. He also drinks on a frequent basis, favouring Jon's bottles of Jack Daniels. But, he does not use foul-language and the term gay as much as the Chief does. Jon Jon is an non-appearing background character to the series. He owns the apartment Chief, Arbiter and the others stay in. His existence largely does not effect the characters or the series in anyway, other than the fact that Jon buys the video games Arbiter plays, or Chief just uses Jon's credit card to purchase Halo 3 content off the Xbox Live Marketplace. It was previously assumed that "Jon" was Jon Graham/DigitalPh33r himself, but in Arby 'n' the Chief: The Movie, DigitalPh33r was portrayed as a character completely unrelated to Chief or the others. This, in turn, was contradicted by an interview with Jon with Phreak on Inside Halo Episode 9 (and later, the Chief), where they are confirmed to be the same person(Perhaps the Chief was not aware of the fact that Jon was also DigitalPh33r). In the above interview, Chief claims that Jon has molested him on various occasions: "hes al liek 'i r gon tuch ur pee pee n stuf' adn he dips me in oil adn maeks me put on a dress" and "keeps posign me n arbitur in seckzual posishinz on his d3sk". It is highly likely that Master Chief is just lying to discredit Jon, as can be attested by Jon's strong denials shouted from offscreen and Jon's warnings to Phreak about Chief's tendency to lie. He did however confess to posing Arbiter and Chief in sexual poitions. But the interview is most likely not connected to the series' storyline. Famous Quotes and Catchphrases Arby 'n' the Chief has many quotes and Chief's special catchphrase which have made the series increasingly famous, some that are still famous from the Master Chief Sucks at Halo series, all mostly made by Chief. Master Chief * hello i am master chief lololololololololololololol * lololololololololololololololol * :( (Sad face) * :D / :) (Happy face) * No u The Arbiter * (first lines) My name is The Arbiter. Motherfucker! * "*Sigh*" Famous Quotes * Chief: "OMGWTFBBQ" {Oh My God What the F*** B.B.Q.} * Arbiter: "You suck big throbbing COCK at Halo 3 ANYWAY! Why the fuck are you even concerned about your rank or your kill/death ratio? It's probably like, One to twenty anyway!" * Chief: "KWIK SUM 1 CAL TEH WAAAAAAAAAAMBULANCE!!one1!" * Chief: "MAI ROFLCOPTER GOEZ SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI" {HAHAHAH. My ROFL-Copter. It goes SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI} * Chief: "wher is teh luv. teh loev. the luv" {Where is the love? The love? The love?} * Chief: SOI SOI SOI SOI SOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOISOI * Chief: MAI ROFLKNIEF GOEZ SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC SLIEC LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL {My ROFL-Knife goes slice slice slice slice slice} * Chief: stuped ghey fuckign helo kity barbie adn ken sesame street pu$$y poly pokit wimpy kidy ghey stupid brotharz braul (after losing to the Arbiter in Super Smash Bros. Brawl) * Chief: but mastar cheef is a pretty cool guy. eh kills aleins and doesen's afraid of anythign. (after not seeing him self in the Super Smash Bros. Brawl characture select screen) *'Chief' No U *'Chief' Teh ROFLKNIEF demandz bl00d Todd. C!! Lissen: "Bl00d plz k thx lol." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Dialogue * (Playing Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare on Xbox Live Multiplayer) Chief: wtf grenade button don't work! Arbiter:'''Left trigger is used to aim down the gun sight '''Chief: That's fucking retarded! Where's the ghost? Arbiter: No vehicles. Chief: >:O (Very angry surprised face) * (After Arbiter has given a long speech on his opinion of the Heroic Map Pack) '''Chief:' taht wuz quit3 a mouthful!!1 i gess ur used 2 that kind of thign Arbiter: Nice one! I see what you did there. Instead of addressing my points, you took everything that I said and turned it into a sexual joke, implying that I suck on mens' penises. Fantastic! Chief: LOLOLOLOLOLOL Arbiter: "L.O.L" indeed. Running Jokes Jon's Frying Pan In Episode 1,Chief used the frying pan by hitting the wall to knock the phone off when it was ringing. Arbiter used it to subdue Chief when carrying a kitchen knife. Chief used it again after Arbiter proved his skills in Halo 3 Multiplayer wrong. In Episode 8, Cortana gave a harsh comment on Chief's Halo 3 Forge map, and Chief gave an extremely offensive reply. In response, Cortana casually picked up Jon's Frying randomly lying on the floor, dragged it on to the sofa/couch and smacked Chief through the window with it. In Episode 12, Chief used it to smack Todd when they were fighting each other. Jon's Kitchen Knives The kitchen knife was also a kind of weapon, but rarely has it been used through the series. The first one was the biggest one in the set. The second one, the "ROFLKNIEF" had a shorter, but sharper blade. In Episode 1, Chief grabbed the knife while looking for Arbiter. In Episode 9, Chief used it again for the same purpose as in episode 1, but Chief was looking for the newcomers introduced in episode 9, Todd and Travis. In Episode 11 and 12, Chief used a different knife (shorter, but sharper) in an attempt to kill Todd and Travis, and described it as the "ROFLKNIEF". When Chief almost defeated Todd, he grabbed the knife and says that it demands blood and used his ventriloquist skills to make the knife say "BL00D PLZ K THX L0L". Jon's Digital Clock Jon's digital bedside clock is shown several times, always displaying the time “3:43.” This is an obvious reference to the Halo character “343 Guilty Spark.” Spam Commonly, people on the Internet fake the name of the newest Episode of Arby 'n' the Chief and post ether their own random vids or just random pics or music (including many a Rickroll), usually under aliases such as machin1ma, machiniima, and other incorrect spellings of Machinima.com. One other known spammer is happyhourgames. Speculation It has been speculated that Arby 'n' the Chief as well as the Master Chief Sucks at Halo series isn't Machinima. This is due to the fact that Machinimas are made with in the video game and not scenes in real-life. But these series are continued to be referred to as Machinima, mostly because of the game play clips included. External Links DigitalPh33r's Blog